A Lesson or Two in Slowing Down

All my work life I was forced to constantly be looking toward the next thing.  As an activity director in a nursing home, where I started my career, it was always, "what are we doing next?" as soon as one activity was wrapping up.  When I moved on to marketing, I was always looking to the next deposit, the next move in and the next sales call.  And then, when I made the move into administration, it was going from one crisis to another, never having time to sit back and relax and enjoy the seniors, who were the reason I pursue that line of work to begin with.  

Then I had children.  And my mind is never quiet, always thinking about what needs to be done; the dishes sitting on the counter, that next load of never-ending needing washing, the list goes on and on.  But I was recently given two very valuable lessons in slowing down and enjoying my children's childhoods.  And the lessons were given to me by the very children I was staying home with so I wouldn't miss the little things.  

One of the things you hear over and over and over again when your child is born is "enjoy it.  It goes by so quickly".  "Sure it does," I thought.  How could changing diapers and sleepless nights possibly go by quickly.  How right everyone else was and how wrong I was!! Here is M, almost two years old somehow, yet I swear he was just born yesterday.  He's sleeping in a toddler bed.  He's had his first sleepover with Nanny and Pop-pop.  He's growing up so fast.  And C.  He can now be set on the floor and he can sit up by himself, and propel himself all around to get to the toys he wants.  How on earth did this happen?  I KNOW he was just born.

I have found myself saying to the hubs at least weekly (but probably more frequently) "I don't want them to grow up too fast but it will be nice when..."  And it's true.  It will be nice when there are no bottles to wash.  But I don’t want them to grow up too fast.  I don’t want to miss anything.  And I still have so much to learn from them.  Which brings me back to these valuable lessons in slowing down. 

I decided one gorgeous day to take the boys for a walk outside.  We have a long driveway and, when taken at a good clip can be a bit of a workout.  A quarter mile long one-way, you have an uphill way and a downhill way.  I was barely able to walk back up one day when I was pregnant.  Thinking this would be a god way to get a little exercise and get the boys some fresh air after lots of rain, we set off…at not such a fast clip.  The first stop was about three feet into our walk to examine a stick.  The stick came with us.  The next stop was to see an acorn.  The acorn was given to me as a gift.  The next stop was a yellow leaf.  Treasure of all treasures!!  Also given to Mommy for safe-keeping.  Our quarter mile walk continued this way all the way down the drive.  I got very little exercise, but I rediscovered many of the wonders of nature.  Although I do see that I am going to need to brush up on my knowledge of nature in order to continue our excursions.  The total tally from our walk was 2 sticks, 4 acorns, 1 yellow leaf, a few red leaves and a red berry I was afraid to let him touch, not knowing what it was.  Also multiple answers to questions regarding “wotta noise” and identifying various nuts, leaves and sticks.

My second lesson came a few days later.  C, a notoriously poor napper dozed off on my lap for his morning nap.  I usually take morning nap time to do various minor projects around the house; fold the load of laundry from last night, sweep under the sofa, answer emails, etc.  It was so nice holding my usually restless baby while he slept soundly and peacefully for a change.  I decided to let him stay there.  After all, he would only be asleep 30 minutes or so.  Well, he slept.  And he slept and he slept and he slept.  Two hours later, he stretched, rolled over in my arms and grinned up at me.  A grin that only comes from a rest inducing nap.  But something else happened too.  I slept.  I dozed on and off while C slept in my arms.  Not the twitchy dozing of a mother who is holding an uncomfortable newborn, which is the role I assumed early in C’s life.  But real power naps with a quick check on my quiet, contented child.  And I felt peace.  And refreshed myself after nap-time.

So yes, I am looking forward to my boys being older.  Some things will be easier, and some things definitely will not, but that's OK.  And I am so excited for when we can lie on our backs and gaze up at the clouds and talk about all that we see up there. 

For now, I am learning to slow down and cherish every moment of joy and wonder they bring me, and they experience.  I adore this time with them, even though it is the most difficult job I have ever and will ever have.  

Surviving a Natural Disaster

This week, we encountered an unpredicted and unprecedented earthquake on the east coast and a Category 1 hurricane.  Prior to children, my earthquake response would have been, "WTF was THAT!?!? Cool, an earthquake!"  After kids, it went more like this: "WTF is THAT?!?!  Where are the boys!!??  M GET IN HERE NOOOOWWWW!!! Stay close to Mommy."  Dialing the hubs.  Can't get through.  Minor panic.  Dialing the hubs.  Can't get through.  Minor but growing panic.  Dialing the hubs.  Whew! Got through. "Did you feel that earthquake?  Scared the crap out of me! No we're fine.  I kept the boys near me.  Something fell in the other room but I haven't gone in yet to see what it was. OK. 'Bye"  Calling the landlady because I NEED to talk to someone who just felt was I felt.  Finally wandered into living room to see what fell; my laptop on top of my glasses.  Uh oh.  Earthquake damage.  Well, we did have actual earthquake damage to the well that has rendered our water unfit to drink still.  But everyone is safe although not quite as secure as we were before 5.9 hit the east coast.

Enter Irene.  Now, please don't get me wrong.  I know some areas had actual flooding, major damage, outages and even some deaths, but the media coverage of this storm in our area was complete hype and overkill.  But, since we have small children, we prepared.  Normally, hurricane preparedness for me would involve finding out where the party is, wine, snacks, maybe a new sexy nightie for the hubs and I in case we can't get out and maybe some board games.  About 2 hours total time of getting ourselves in order.  OK, yes, the computers and cell phones would also get fully charged.  But for Hurricane Irene things were very different.  Our most recent hurricane in this area was Isabel and her impact to my life was pretty significant.  But as a single person, easy enough to deal with.  So, with this experience in the forefront of my mind, we began preparations for the impending doom that would be Hurricane Irene.  Having worked my entire career in senior healthcare, especially after the disaster of Hurricane Katrina, emergency/disaster preparedness is something I know well.  We filled the bathtub with water.  We filled ziploc bags with water and stuffed our freezer full.  We took full inventory of our candles and flashlights.  We purchased lots of non-perishables.  We already had plenty of bottled water since Tuesday's earthquake.  Both cars were gassed and ready to go if necessary.  Both cell phones, the iPad and both laptops were fully charged.

With preparations finally completed, we waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  Then it started raining.  And that was about it.  Until 10:00 pm when we finally heard wind blowing.  But up until that point, Irene had shown us little more than a normal rainy day.  We kept the TV on The Weather Channel, alternating with a local channel, to get the latest developments.  Of course, we missed the mooner on The Weather Channel.  That was the most exciting thing that would have happened here during the storm.  We did hear a tree or two come down in the night but by morning light, we were no worse for the little bit of wear and tear we encountered.  We didn't even lose power which is significant in and of itself as in this house, we lose power if someone sneezes too hard.

But a week of natural potential disasters made me think hard about how ready are we really in the event we have to leave and leave quickly.  No quick exit can be made from our apartment.  We live in a third floor walk up; 5 flights.  Add two small children, one of whom can walk the steps if you hold his hand, and things get slowed way down.  In the event of a quick evacuation, we are screwed.  Enter (dah dah dah dah!) Zombie Mom!!  In my undead little brain, I am devising an exit strategy that will be much quicker than President Obama's from Afghanistan.  A back pack full of diapers and other bare essentials so I can grab it from the closet and slap it on my back, while keeping both arms free, one for each little boy.  Unfortunately, there is a major flaw in this plan (which I will execute before week's end).  M's duck.  Duck duck is a 7 inch stuffed duck security blanket.  He can do without any of his other animals.  But not Duck duck.  Duck duck was missing for 45 minutes one day at nap time.  No nap was taken until he was recovered in the pantry behind several baskets.  The hubs made the mistake of putting Duck duck in the wash too close to bedtime.  No other animal would do.  Even the other regulars that share his sleeping space.  It had to be Duck duck or it was clear there would be no sleep for anyone that night.  After that evening, we began the search for a second Duck duck, just in case the unspeakable was to happen. Well, apparently Duck duck is a one of a kind.  We have looked EVERYWHERE they carry Carter's products.  And there is no duck to be found.  So, should we ever have to leave for fire, earthquake or tornado, a fully stocked back pack is a great idea.  But I will still need to take the time to locate a certain feathered friend.  Or M may never sleep again.

Did you know...?

Did you know that they make countertop dishwashers?!  It’s amazing to discover what you don’t know and I am constantly reminded of these things now that I have children.  Did you know that the volume of a toddler’s voice is directly connected to the sleep cycle of the infant in the crib?  Did you know that even though a toddler has a limited vocabulary, they can still manage to talk all.day.long.?  Did you know that a second c-section heals quicker than the first?  Maybe out of necessity so you can care for both children.  It doesn’t matter why.  It just does and that’s a good thing.  Did you know that a colicky baby will eventually grow out of it and the smile that you discover afterward is so much more precious than you ever thought it could be?  Did you know that you can teach a child to sleep better? 

But the biggest “did you know” I have discovered is something that my OB should have discussed with me well before I delivered my second child.  Did you know that when you get your tubes tied, it’s not as easy as you think it will be?

Allow me to explain in the most delicate way possible without being way too personal or gross.  I became pregnant with C when M was between 4 and 5 months old.  I barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief that I was no longer pregnant.  My regular cycle had resumed just long enough to know when I was late.  In my many prenatal visits to the OB, we began discussing birth control options for the future.  The hubs and I knew we only wanted two children and we knew that we had to act quickly given I was over 40 when I got pregnant with M.  Since we were pregnant with our second child now, we decided to go with a permanent birth control option.  As I spoke with my doctor, he thought a tubal ligation was the way to go.  I was in agreement.  When I asked about how things would be affected, he told me that my cycle would resume just as it always had.  A man should never be the one consulting with a woman on this procedure. 

The day of delivery arrived and because of the sensitivity I had with the first pregnancy's spinal block, I was given an extra sedative this time which knocked me out nearly completely, although I hear from the hubs that I would start talking and end up snoring mid-sentence.  I was also in surgery much longer with C than with M, mainly because of the tubal.  I had some other minor complications recovering from the surgery including my temperature dropping and not going back up on its own, vomiting from the anesthesia (again) and a spinal headache (brutal).  But they were not that terrible.  I was discharged home with my new son and began the task of settling into my new life.  I had the usual recovery from childbirth and my body began the task of settling back into its monthly routine.

But did you know that when your cycle starts up again, it comes back with a vengeance?  I mean PMS like nobody’s business.  Cramps like I haven’t suffered from since college.  And the duration?  Holy cow!!  I had never EVER been incapacitated, for lack of a better word, for so long.  Never.  Having been on the Pill for many years prior to meeting the hubs, my cycle had shortened to 2 days tops.  Even after I stopped taking the pill, it stayed that delightful length.  Cramps were minimal and PMS nonexistent.  But about 2 weeks prior to my second regular period, I felt myself coming unglued.  My anxiety level was at such a height that I couldn’t handle both my boys crying at one time.  When one would start, I could barely take that but then the other would start and I found myself pointing at the second offender and saying in not such a quiet voice, “And don’t you start too!  I can’t take it!”  After two weeks of not recognizing or even being able to stand myself, there was one final incident where I found myself in front of the medicine cabinet questioning myself.  I immediately grabbed my cell phone and sent a message to my counselor requesting the earliest appointment she had.  I also called my doctor and reported feeling out of control.  I got an almost immediate appointment with both.

Here’s what I have learned:  it is common, yes common, to have this happen after a tubal.  Really!?  Don’t you think that is something a doctor should tell his or her patient who may be considering such a procedure?  I had chosen a tubal ligation because it is permanent and non-hormonal.  Being guilty of self-diagnosis, I had decided I was suffering from post-partum depression.  The Internet can be a dangerous thing because you can find enough information on any infliction to diagnose yourself with it.  I was sure I needed an anti-depressant.  After meeting with my shrink and telling her what had happened, she recommended an anti-anxiety.  Then I had my consultation with my doctor. This time I got to speak with a woman.  She is the one who said that the tubal is the root of all evil.  At least mine.  She recommended that I go back on the birth control pill.  Her thought is that leveling out my hormones would help with my anxiety and depression.

Well, she was right.  I have been taking the Pill again for one month.  It is amazing the difference in what I feel and how I handle everything.  I am no longer feeling out of control.  On a scale of 1 to 10, before the Pill, I was daily a 7 in the anxiety range and 10+ when things escalated.  Now, a 7 is my highest point.  I am relieved to be feeling so much better and when I feel the time is right, I will share my PPD journey here.  But for now, I will just caution women, that while I am sure the tubal is a beneficial procedure in that it is a permanent form of birth control so there is no worrying about unexpected news, please ask way more questions than I did.  Be specific.  And don’t accept a man saying, “Things will go on just as they always have.”  The woman doc in my doctor’s office says that your period will come back stronger and meaner than ever, every time.

Isn't it funny that I opted for the tubal ligation to avoid a hormonal form of birth control and I am now taking birth control pills anyway.  

The Post Baby Work Out

Finding time to exercise since C's birth has been a bit of a challenge.  I was a terrible pregnant woman and considered a trip up and down the stairs exercise.  Well, multiply that by 2 years and you have the length of my exercise hiatus.  Two years of no ab work.  Two years of no running, no Buns of Steel, no horseback riding-he is also way out of shape-and no lifting heavy objects like bags of horse feed.  So my fitness level and my shape have suffered.  My size used to be a perfect little 4 petite, although at the time, I was hard on myself and how I looked anyway.  Now my once 6 pack abs are shaped more like a bowl of jello.  My buns of steel are more like buns of jello.  My once strong arms can only lift jello. And I have underarm wings!  No kidding!  I waved at my son the other day and felt something flapping back at me.  When did this happen?!?  How did this happen?!?  Oh yeah, those two years straight I was ginormous with child.  M loves it when I pull my shirt up and pat my flab for his entertainment.  The hubs tells me he thinks I am sexier than ever.  I, however look in the mirror with a more critical eye.  That's a muffin top.  And a dimple is not cute on that cheek.  And the dress I was planning to wear for our upcoming fall wedding season?  Let's just say if you can picture Mrs. Wiggins from the Carol Burnett Show, you have a very accurate image.  Not pretty.

So I have devised a way to sneak exercise in throughout my busy zombie mom day.  I am only about 15 pounds from my pre-M weight but I am miles form my pre-baby shape.  Here are a few of the exercises I have incorporated through my day:
The Baby Bicep Curl:  Pretty self explanatory.  Take the baby (the toddler protests this move too much) under each armpit and curl him up to your face and back down again. You can give him a smooch on the forehead for extra fun.
Infant Ab Roll: Lie on your back on either a large bed or on the floor with your knees drawn up, shins parallel to the flat surface you are on.  Place said infant on your shins, carefully of course, with his head and arms above your knees.  Hold onto his hands and curl your knees toward your chest and, at the same time, raise your head and shoulders off the floor, pulling them toward your knees.  To keep baby entertained, make faces at him as your faces draw closer together.  Funny noises also work.  Depending on how long your legs are, the toddler enjoys this move.  We have trouble with this one.
Tiny Tot Tummy Trimmer:  Take either child and hold in a cradle hold and twist at the waist as far as you can go to both sides.  For added intensity, hold the child away from your body and get an arm workout as well.  Faster gives the child a better ride and you a better workout.
The Rock-A-Bye Baby Sumo Squat:  Another endurance move performed by holding baby on either shoulder and rocking side to side to get the little darling down for a nap.  This move is repeated at least 2 times a day.  Intensity can be added by bending your legs into a squat with each rock of the baby.  The lower the squat the higher the intensity.  And by holding baby, it becomes a weight bearing exercise.

Peek-a-Boo Calf Raises:  This move will require some of you taller moms to raise the mirrors in your house.  Fortunately for me, I have the stature that requires no redecorating.  Choose a mirror anywhere in the house and make sure the baby is facing it.  Standing, raise yourself up on your toes so that baby can see his reflection in the mirror.  After he sees himself and reacts, lower yourself back to the floor.  Repeat until you your baby stops reacting to his reflection or your calves are burning.  Your calves will probably give out before your baby does.  I have found saying, "Baby!" "No baby!" pumps up the fun factor and making baby laugh will increase your ability to keep going long after the burn starts.
Son Shoulder Press:  This also works with a daughter.  It can be done standing, sitting or lying down.  Hold child securely around upper body and under his arms and raise above your head and down again.  Again, a great opportunity for funny faces, smooches and goofy noises.  A word of warning from experience, whatever you do, do it with a closed mouth, especially if your child has just eaten or is teething.  Otherwise, you may get rehydrated in a most unpleasant way courtesy of your loving child.
The Toddler Trot:  Not to be confused with The Diaper Dash, The Toddler Trot is performed by running around with and after your toddler as he plays.  This exercise is an endurance move, happening all day long at different speeds.

The Diaper Dash:  Unlike The Toddler Trot, The Diaper Dash is a sprint.  Think intervals occurring several times throughout the day but not continuously.  Its a quick dash to catch an active toddler long enough to get his diaper changed.  This move requires not just quickness but agility and timing.  This is an all over body workout that will improve lung capacity, fine motor skills and will aid you in learning those quick turns and twists used in football.
The Diaper Derby:  This move happens daily too.  It is when both boys need a diaper change and you have them lined up.  Its more like a pro-wrestling move when you are tag-teamed by the bad guys, you will find yourself flipping the child over, trying to catch flailing feet while staying out of range and doing a 180 to perform that trick all over agin.

And of course, with the proper amount of training, you will soon be ready for the Obstacle Course:  Basically, this involves navigating your child's chosen place of play while carrying your second child and trying to prepare a meal for at least one person.  This move will require agility, endurance and an amazing amount of self control to not say something a well versed toddler should not hear or repeat as you slide on one of the hundred tupperware lids strewn across your kitchen floor, balancing a child in one arm and a plate in the other hand, and usually a bottle in the baby hand, while remaining upright.  When you can successfully master this move without uttering a single word of profanity, you are a fit Zombie Mom.

While having incorporated all these moves into my daily routine, I am still mourning the loss of my pre-baby body.  I adore my children and given the choice between them and that unscarred, stretch mark free pre-baby body, I would choose them every time without hesitation.  But I would really like to fit into that awesome dress again.  And my teeny tiny pre-baby bikini that mocks me from my dresser. Sigh.  I guess I should be satisfied that I am a mom of two beautiful boys, 43 years-old and still able to pass the pencil test.

The Stray Dog Philosophy

Years ago, when I was living with my grandmother, a big old dog showed up in our side yard.  It was October and the weatherman had forecast a hard frost for that evening.  Being the crackerjack gardener I am (kidding), I was putting plastic bags over the plants I had outside that I had not yet transplanted into pots to move indoors for the winter.  Feeling like I was being watched, I turned and was literally nose to nose with a dog that was quite obviously part German shepherd.  Now I love dogs, all animals for that matter.  But this dog was a stranger to me.  Even though I was startled by presence, I remained calm and offered my hand to see what he would do.  Fortunately, he was a friendly dog.  Very friendly.  And I was smitten.  There was however one small problem in the form of a spunky old lady who wasn't exactly a dog fan. They were okay of they lived with someone else.  And she had already given in to having two indoor/outdoor cats.

I went to work the next day looking for a home for this wonderful dog.  There were no immediate takers.  My mother's friend brought by a huge bag of dog food for him that morning after I called her for help finding him a home.  I went about my daily life as if I had a dog.  I fed him each morning.  He had a comfortable bed in the barn.  When I would feed the horses, he would stand outside each stall and wait for me.  We played together and we cuddled each night on a pile of hay before I retired for the evening myself.  Each morning, he was waiting for me on the front porch.  But I never gave him a name.  Nothing I could think of seemed to fit him.  Almost two weeks passed and I returned home from work to find my new friend had moved on.  It was as if he had needed a place to rest for a little while before continuing on his way-wherever that was.

I think M may be employing the "no name no stay" philosophy to C.  He plays with C.   Laughs at him. Interacts with him which is wonderful to see.  He excitedly runs to his room when C wakes up and exclaims, "Baby wake up!!"  When we are trying to get C to sleep, he whispers not so quietly, "Baby seeping".  He peeks through the slats in the crib to play peek-a-boo with him.  He points out when he makes "wotta noise".  He stands at the side of the tub when C gets a bath and giggles uncontrollably at C's attempts to sit up by himself.  He will even share the occasional toy with him.  He cries when C can't be consoled.  He performs to make C laugh.  He watches Elmo with him.  He reluctantly let's C sit in the Bumbo chair even though it belongs to the baby.  He will lay down next to him on our bed or on a blanket on the floor.  He has tried to feed him Cheerios.  He has even apologized to him after a well deserved time out received form head-butting his baby brother.

He has done all of these things.  But he refuses to call him by name.  M is good with names.  He knows Mommy, Daddy, Nanny and Pop-pop (and that they go together), AJ, Aunt Mindy, Uncle Pat, Heidi, the name of my former boss, Logan, Aunt Robin, Lisa, Joy, Emily and Baby Ellie (pronounced Elwee).  But he will not call C anything but Baby.  When I correct him and tell him the baby's name, he laughs at me.  When I ask him "who is the baby?", he points to him and says "Baby!"I am trying hard to use C's name more throughout the day hoping it will catch on but I have to wonder if this refusal to put a name to the baby isn't a subconscious way of keeping detached?  Maybe if he doesn't use C's name, he will go away?  As with stray animals, if you feed them and name them, they are yours forever.  Since M has no control over us feeding C, maybe he is keeping from getting attached by not using his name.  Or, maybe he just hasn't made the connection enough because Mommy is not using C's name enough day in and day out, instead calling him "the baby".  It is, after all, only a theory.

Word of the Day

Some people enjoy word of the day toilet paper, I have toddler word of the day.  And I love it.  Its so entertaining hearing him latch onto a word and practice it all day long.  His words of the day have also forever changed the names of common everyday items.  For example, my hair dryer will forever be known as "wotta noise" and my flip flops will be affectionately known as "be-bops" for the rest of my life.  And that's OK because be-bops are a lot more fun to wear!  "I'm wearing my cute new be-bops when I get my pedicure today."

Word of the day really started several weeks ago when C was very young and M realized he could say "yellow", his favorite color.  That day, everything was yellow.  A couple of weeks ago, the word of the day was "running", to be said as loud as possible as one is racing at break neck speed up and down the hallway.

Word of the day has made me clean up my language.  One morning I went in search of M to find him sitting on his toy train saying "dammit".  There's only one place that came from.  Stifling a laugh, I explained how that isn't a nice word and that even Mommy shouldn't say it and we should change it to driving instead.  Fortunately, that word has gone from his rather extensive toddler vocabulary.

Today, the word of the day was "sorry", pronounced "thorry".  This happened after a particularly well deserved time out for head butting his four month old brother.  Knowing I was angrier than the one minute time out the Supernanny method allows for (and despite being so angry, I stuck to Supernanny's method because I am in awe of what this woman has done with far worse children than mine), M apologized over and over to me the rest of the day, even long after I was over it.  Of course he never did apologize to C.  He laughed at me when I suggested that.

I look forward each day with anticipation to the word of the day.

Having Kids in the 1970's?

I grew up in the 1970's and 80's in an 100 year old farmhouse with well water and no air conditioning.

When we decided to make the leap to have children, we failed to look at the basic conveniences that were lacking in our day to day lives.  Conveniences that are nearly essential when you have kids.  I rented a beautiful apartment in a private home for several years before meeting and marrying my husband.  The apartment is located in the attic of a mansion, 5 flights up, 5 flights down.  We made the decision that the hubs should move in with me since my space was much larger than his efficiency rental.  Comparatively, my apartment had 2 bedrooms, a den, a HUGE bathroom and an eat in kitchen.  Two weeks before the wedding, the hubs moved in with me.  My big apartment was now a little smaller, but still comfortable and charming.

Then M was due in 2 weeks.  As I stood at the kitchen sink washing baby bottles, I was struck by what a daunting task we had just begun.  Bottles as you know are multi-pieced equipment.  The ones we have chosen to use have 7 parts.  7 parts to be washed and sterilized between each use.  Big deal right?  Let's now talk hand wash.  You see in our charming third floor walk up (5 flights up=43 steps), there is no dishwasher.  And no room for one.  And if there was one, who the heck is going to get it up those stairs?  Thus begins an endless stream of dirty bottles, dishes and flatware.  Gone were the days of not washing dishes all week and still not filling the sink.  Now dishes had become a daily chore.

The next luxury most people take for granted that we have come to appreciate and talk about frequently is central air conditioning.  We do not have it.  Three window units act as our window treatments to effectively cool our space.  Big deal right?  Normally it wouldn't be except we now live with a very active, very nosy, very helpful 18 month old.  So the ac units have to be removed from the crawl space after he has gone to bed.  The crawl space door has been screwed shut to keep Mr. Nosy from wandering into spaces he shouldn't go.  So, after working all day and getting M fed, bathed and to bed, the hubs is now having to drag the ac out of the crawl space (so named for a reason) quietly (good luck there) while he is exhausted, only to discover we do not have all we need to install them correctly which then results in a 9:30 pm run to Home Depot.  Air conditioning was finally installed and running around 10:30.  Our apartment is now comfortable but wouldn't it have been so much easier to flip a switch?  And once it cools down in the fall, out comes the ac, back into the crawl space until yet another cooling system.

The 3rd modern convenience I will no longer take for granted is water.  We do not pay for water.  We have well water.  I kind of like the taste of it.  But, with infants, we have to filter the water.  And we had to sterilize bottles for an additional month.  We also have to add fluoride to their daily routine.  Filtering the water is no biggie.  Even sterilizing the bottles for 4 months vs 3 is not that terrible.  What is however is wind, storms, accidents, anything that might possibly disrupt our electricity.  No electricity, no well pump.  No well pump, no water.  We keep bottled on reserve for drinking and tooth brushing, but at each thunderstorm warning, high wind alert, even winter storms, we are filling the bathtub so we can flush.  Hurricane Isabel taught me a VERY valuable lesson about electricity.  I couldn't imagine WHY I would need to fill the tub.  Seriously.  I'm certainly not going to bathe in cold, dirty water so what good is it going to do me?  The the lights went out.  Two hours later, there's still no power.  I visit the little girl's room.  I flush.  Oh.  THAT's why you fill the tub with water.  Duh.  Even worse than the threat of losing water for an act of God, though is the random loss of water whenever someone else is doing laundry or running a dishwasher.  Way to rub it in!  Filing the tub to bathe M and we run out of water.  Grabbing a quick shower at 10:30 after both boys finally nap at the same time and midway through a rushed shower there's not even a drop to rinse with.  On more than one occasion, soapy,  I have stomped down from the attic to the basement to turn the washing machine off.  Stomping on hardwood stairs with soapy feet is no easy feat and even a little dangerous.  At the third landing, I can hear the urgent cries of C.  So much for that.

And finally the bane of my existence: laundry.  Oh do I hate the laundry situation here.  We have access to laundry.  And its free.  But its a hassle.  Laundry is never done.  Ever.  As you are finishing the last load, you realize the clothes on your back are creating more work.  The hubs's aunt told me once about having to change her kids' clothes 3 times a day because of the food they would get on them.  I thought, but kept it to myself, what on earth is she doing that she needs to change them so frequently?  After all, I'm super mom and I have the perfect children.  Ha!  All that has changed.  There are at least 3 costume changes each day, multiplying the laundry workload.  That's to be expected.  So, let's decide to do laundry.  The first trip down to the basement (add a flight-6 flights down, 6 flights back up) has a toddler perched on the left hip and a laundry basket perched on the right.  The first trip down is really to do no more than get our place in line for the washing machine.  If both washer and dryer are empty, it's like a holiday.  If both are in use, just leave your basket.  Maybe you can do some wash this evening.  Late this evening.  Being the furthest from the laundry rooms has distinct disadvantages.  There are also some advantages if you can see through the crap to the silver lining.  Its a great workout-climbing a ridiculous number of stairs is a cardio workout and carrying the toddler along makes it weight bearing exercise.  Ah, but here's the rub...the happiness of finally getting to wash clothes is dampened by the sudden loss of water while doing dishes because I running the washer.  I do believe this is what they call irony.